Bullying

Okay, so that "brand new" start didn't really stick...so no promises on this one!

I'm prompted to write today because a really great friend is having a baby today.  It should be such a happy day.  Birth is wonderful & so full of unlimited potential.  However, she is going into this day scared.  Why?  Because she doesn't trust her care providers.  They have been bullying her since the beginning of this pregnancy to have a c-section, and today they are winning.  She went to them with valid research as to why a c-section is not necessary...they shot them down and used fear tactics to pressure her into agreeing to the c-section today (dead baby card anyone?).  Just to be clear, she was more than willing to do a c-section if it was actually medically needed...she just didn't want to be bullied into it.  She was trying to get them to induce her first - if the baby needs to come out, why not try induction first?  (By the way, she is only 37 weeks +5 days today)  They would not even agree to that.  I did let her know about gentle c-sections, to see if they would at least do that (immediate skin-to-skin, delayed cord clamping, etc), but I haven't heard if they were willing to work with her on that or not.  And, before you ask, yes she did have some complications with this pregnancy (like gestational diabetes, diet controlled), but per ACOG (American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists - the ruling body for OBs) the issues were not reason to have a c-section (especially without at least attempting an induction first).

Why does becoming pregnant seem to make the woman suddenly incompetent of making intelligent medical decisions when given all the information?  Why do so many OBs take the route of "you are not capable of making a decision, so I will not even give you the option"?

With all the talk and movement against bullying - why do OBs and other docs get a free pass?  Going to medical school is a big deal, I get that, but it still shouldn't give you the right to be a bully.

Example of what I mean by the doc being a bully (using an OB example):

OB:  The baby is measuring big on the ultrasound.  There is no way it will fit through your pelvis.  You need to have a c-section now.  Let's put you on the schedule for tomorrow.

Mom:  Can I try to have the baby naturally first?  Or at least wait until I go into labor before having the c-section?

OB:  No!  That baby needs to come out now!  If you try and the baby gets stuck, it will suffer and die!  Not to mention you may never be able to have another one because it will cause damage when it gets stuck!  We have to get that baby out now or it will die!  Do you really want to wait and give birth to a dead baby?

Why could a doc not be like this example (OB example again):

OB:  The baby's shoulders are measuring on the larger end.  I'm concerned about the possibility of shoulder dystocia

Ugh.  I don't see this changing anytime soon (look at the US c-section rates...way higher than they should be).  Unfortunately, women have to put their foot down & demand better care and treatment from their providers.  Women need to understand they are the ones in control - they are hiring the doc, they can fire the doc.  It is not going to help my friend, as she should have had the baby by now, but maybe it will help some other mom facing a similar situation.

A brand new start

Starting over.

Maybe this time I will actually stick with it!

Here's some info about me...just what you wanted to read!  I'm a stay-at-home mom, starting to homeschool my oldest for kindergarten, have a wonderful hubby (who is an amazing writer, unlike me!), have three very beautiful children (Little Man is 5, Baby is 3, and my Little Guy is 16 months...and no, those are not their real names...they have been changed to protect their innocence, or something like that!), we have a dog and a cat (the still trying to be a puppy and the old timer who is anti-social...can you tell I haven't figured out if I want to change their names for this blog yet?), we are active in our church, we live out in the country and I am attempting to move us towards homesteading, I am very passionate about breastfeeding and informed consent with regards to birth stuff (I had 3 natural births- one in the hospital, one unplanned at home, one planned homebirth; but I have nothing against those that chose another way!), as for breastfeeding - I am passionate about it but have also had to give formula and donor milk to my babies due to my issues with IGT (insufficient glandular tissue)...I get distracted easily, so not sure what else I need to say. 

Plans. (So you will get an idea of if you really want to continue reading past this post)
I will definitely be sharing all 3 of my birth stories - I love to share them!  I'm also going to write about my issues with breastfeeding, the trials and disappointments and such of being insufficient.  Might even get brave enough to write about dealing with postpartum depression...and how I'm still fighting slipping back into a depression state.  Then there will inevitably be some posts about my kids...as it is usually all about them anyways!  I might try my hand at some faith based writing (my thoughts/devotions on verses and such).  Come spring I will be all about my garden.  Fun times ahead!

I have to admit, first and foremost, I am not a writer.  I am not funny (except in my own mind and sometimes to my family).  I have a messed up extended family.  I am not organized (which is horrid as I used to be super organized!).  I am stressed out a lot.  I try really hard to put my faith in God, but I fail at times.  I fail in other things at times too.  But, I am trying.  So, have fun reading me rambling on about stuff in my life and my mind!