I'm prompted to write today because a really great friend is having a baby today. It should be such a happy day. Birth is wonderful & so full of unlimited potential. However, she is going into this day scared. Why? Because she doesn't trust her care providers. They have been bullying her since the beginning of this pregnancy to have a c-section, and today they are winning. She went to them with valid research as to why a c-section is not necessary...they shot them down and used fear tactics to pressure her into agreeing to the c-section today (dead baby card anyone?). Just to be clear, she was more than willing to do a c-section if it was actually medically needed...she just didn't want to be bullied into it. She was trying to get them to induce her first - if the baby needs to come out, why not try induction first? (By the way, she is only 37 weeks +5 days today) They would not even agree to that. I did let her know about gentle c-sections, to see if they would at least do that (immediate skin-to-skin, delayed cord clamping, etc), but I haven't heard if they were willing to work with her on that or not. And, before you ask, yes she did have some complications with this pregnancy (like gestational diabetes, diet controlled), but per ACOG (American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists - the ruling body for OBs) the issues were not reason to have a c-section (especially without at least attempting an induction first).
Why does becoming pregnant seem to make the woman suddenly incompetent of making intelligent medical decisions when given all the information? Why do so many OBs take the route of "you are not capable of making a decision, so I will not even give you the option"?
With all the talk and movement against bullying - why do OBs and other docs get a free pass? Going to medical school is a big deal, I get that, but it still shouldn't give you the right to be a bully.
Example of what I mean by the doc being a bully (using an OB example):
OB: The baby is measuring big on the ultrasound. There is no way it will fit through your pelvis. You need to have a c-section now. Let's put you on the schedule for tomorrow.
Mom: Can I try to have the baby naturally first? Or at least wait until I go into labor before having the c-section?
OB: No! That baby needs to come out now! If you try and the baby gets stuck, it will suffer and die! Not to mention you may never be able to have another one because it will cause damage when it gets stuck! We have to get that baby out now or it will die! Do you really want to wait and give birth to a dead baby?
Why could a doc not be like this example (OB example again):
OB: The baby's shoulders are measuring on the larger end. I'm concerned about the possibility of shoulder dystocia
Ugh. I don't see this changing anytime soon (look at the US c-section rates...way higher than they should be). Unfortunately, women have to put their foot down & demand better care and treatment from their providers. Women need to understand they are the ones in control - they are hiring the doc, they can fire the doc. It is not going to help my friend, as she should have had the baby by now, but maybe it will help some other mom facing a similar situation.
